Fly Swatting Technique

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hNw_VW9Dlp19RvvaxvSLo5TZRwSQD98SQ0606

I am in 100% pure amazement that people are being paid to circulate this steaming shitpile of a story.

Obama swatted a fly on TV. Peta gets upset. Obama regrets swatting fly. The end.

Are these mundane events really worth paying a guy to write an article ?

Is the Chum Bucket Dead???

Nah, but my brother and I have been slacking on shit for some time now. I recently moved back out to California and this blog fell near the bottom of priorities list. I started a new project over the winter called Painting on Trees that has been taking up all of my spare time. Its a skateboard media based company that is funded by selling hand painted skateboards. Be sure to check it out. For for now the chum bucket is in hibernation mode until i talk to my brother and get the engine turned over.

- Kirk

3.19.09

I guess I’m writing this to clear up any hazy insight from the last post.

We’re not big fans of Bush or Obama thus far, but the fundamentalist christians, conservatives, republicans and un-obliged everyday voting people have been rumoring this radical President Obama turning the whole nation into a socialist order. Simply put: This isn’t a fully-functioning representative democracy, nor do we have a true free market like we think we ought to. That aside we won’t be Socialists over night, and nationalizing the bank which 50% of Americans use doesn’t change a damned thing. The obvious lesson here is to be a part of the other 50%. Personally I would suggest to close your bank account unless its with a community banker that thrives off of the population that surrounds it. It seems like the dissent in American today is without action. We’re allowed to speak freely and I cannot argue the value of exercising that right but if one is truly worried about freedom, one must pick up the not-so-metaphoric sickle and hammer and do the work which normally would be done by those god damned fascist, greedy, filthy, lying, scumbags on capital hill.

Check out the photography page for some 2nd rate scans of expired negatives of shots taken in an attic trapped in time.

Peace.

-Scott

The wolf in sheep’s clothing

Is Obama just slowly turning us into a socialist country? Ever wonder if his plan for economic recovery has some hidden agendas? I’m kinda thinkin so. So much money is being thrown around it makes one wanna vomit. Like the recent $410 billion dollars that Obama just signed a bill for. That under my understanding is just being tossed around everywhere from a water agency to hospitals. So where is all this money coming from? What’s the limit? Won’t are money be worthless sooner than later? There must be some sort of money shuffling going on some where right? Well indeed there is…

Bank of America on 60 minutes – please watch.

Also check the chum page for a visual of how we got into the credit crisis.

So let me get this straight…Approx. half of America does its banking with Bank of America. And now the Government owns a portion of this bank after propping it up to survive the financial crisis of this country. So eventually half of this country will be banking with the Government. The exact thing our founding fathers of this country didn’t want to happen. It seems as if there’s a take over in progress and it’s happening right before our eyes. And all we’re doing is paying our taxes, crackin’ brews, and letting Obama know that we’re still hoping for change. My opinion of the public’s general out look on things: “Don’t worry, they’ll fix everything and we’ll be back to the good ol’ “American Dream” before ya know it.”
Just wait until 2010 when some of your favorite businesses have gone under and have been bought out by big corporations. (Please check out 15 companies that might not survive 2009)
It’ll be a big game of Monopoly! And check out our new Celebrity Banker…

Landover Baptist Church

Take a look at this guy – the Deacon of Landover Baptist Church.

(landoverbaptist.org)

I’m still trying to figure out of these people are serious…

Who We Are and What We (And God) Believe:

We are a Bible believing, Fundamentalist, Independent Baptist Church. We are 157,286 members strong. Our Church Campus is located in Freehold, Iowa and rests on 35 acres of some of the most beautiful country you’d ever care to set your eyes upon. Our church holds 28 paid pastors, 131 paid deacons, 412 full time staff members, LCA (Landover Christian Academy), LCU (Landover Christian University), 11 fully equipped chapels, Four 2,000 seat sanctuaries, Three 5,000 seat main sanctuaries, the world’s largest Christian Mall, a Christian Amusement Park (Landover Bible Theme Park and Red Sea World), A PGA 18 Hole Golf Course, 3 Fitness Centers, 4 Olympic sized swimming pools, Landover Village…

God willing I’ll have 4 olympic sized swimming pools and a golf course all to myself..

some of the most incredible reading material I have ever read. Its so shocking that its hard to believe. Rush Limbaugh and Bill Oreilly don’t even have as offensive of websites!

Here’s some exemplary content:

” How Comes The Obama Gets To Be A Presidents?
Mr. Hannity was talking about our Lord Jesus as usuals and then brought him up a picture of the gang city rapper he called the Obama… Learn More!

Why Did Jesus Have Long Hair Like a Homo?
If the false images of Jesus with long hair are a stumbling block for you, then just tear them out of your Bible. For a more accurate example of what Jesus would look like if He were walking amongst us today… Learn More!

Why Does God Hate Trailer Trash?
Indeed, tornadoes have long been referred to by True Christians™ as “the twirling fingers of the Lord,” which He uses to poke and scratch at scabs and obliterate things that displease Him… Learn More!

Will I see My Grandpa Naked After the Rapture?
Well, the answer is quite simple. In Heaven, there’ll simply be no need for genitals. Our guess is that the Lord is pretty disgusted after having to watch… Learn More!

Do Retardeds Go to Heaven?
As I always say, it is not for us to question how the Lord gets his kicks, but basically, unless your retarded, deaf, dumb and blind sister finds some way of understanding that Jesus died for her sins… Learn More!“

Paint Your Easter Eggs With Arab Blood! Pastor Deacon Fred delivers a soul stirring Easter message that celebrates our American Christian Freedom!

how to circumcise yourself

Wow.

Quite oppositely I’ve been enjoying John Micheal Greer’s Arch Druid Report: Druid perspectives on nature, culture, and the future of industrial society

http://thearchdruidreport.blogspot.com/

Photo from the lazy flickr: http://www.flickr.com/thelazygardener

Going for Broke

This is pretty crazy.

I guess President Obama’s idea of using a scalpel includes pumping $900 billion dollars into a failing economy.

Perhaps that analogy doesn’t make much sense afterall…

I’ve been looking back at the campaign trail and seeing what remarks still hold their ground. In some respects it doesn’t matter a bit, as there’s no changing a legitimate election except via homicide.

An economic stimulus plan passed under George W. Bush in October, so where’s the change we ‘hoped’ for?

Within the mandates for greenhouse-gas emission cuts in the Automotive industry? Big fuckin’ deal.

A real revolution would take cars off of roads and replace them with bicycles and a sense of community.

I’ll leave you with words of advice for now:

Grow as much food as you possibly can. You will NEVER regret growing food. You and this earth can only benefit from the production of food within your own living space.

Forget the food-grid.
“There are a million things you can eat.” – Mark Angelini

www.thelazygardener.net

1.15.08. Economic Stimulus and Historic Hatred.

President-elect Barack Obama’s much talked about lurking economic stimulus package has been unveiled in the senate.

A total precipitation of $825 billion is being voted on the week of the 24th of January, 2009, in the House of Representatives.

Allocations:

Spending

Total: $550 Billion;

“Some of the largest components include $87 billion for a temporary increase in aid to states for Medicaid costs; $79 billion in aid to local school districts and public colleges to prevent cutbacks; $90 billion in infrastructure spending; and $54 billion to encourage energy production from renewable sources.”

(The New York Times. www.nytimes.com)

Tax Cuts:

Total: $275 Billion

“Under the plan, individuals would receive up to $500 and families up to $1,000 through a cut in payroll taxes on the first $8,100 in income. The money would be delivered throughpaychecks as a reduction in Social Security withholdings, and is intended to bolster consumer spending by giving a small lift to household pocketbooks”

The New York Times.

Our Pavlovian Breed

When the earth was less populated, passing your generate seed was an honor, to spread your family onto the earth, to defend with honor the title of your fathers’ was human code.

The earth is overpopulated. By some twist of irony and coincidence, I think, the cleverest of humans invented ways of concentration. The idea to keep humans in concentrated space, both physically and mentally. These intersections of space and time are more frequent each year; shopping malls, wal-mart superstores, movie theatres, prisons, cities, the scope is wide. Unfortunately with the rapid population of humans, these spaces are overflowing into much of the soil, water, and air.

But this problem cannot be addressed logically, as it creates a teeth-gritting paradox. What gives one humans life more value than another? Are we not to reproduce? Commit war and genocide?

There seems to be no quick solution, as this problem has not been abrupt. Like a sand-timer, each grain accumulates or a leaking faucet, each droplet fills a defined container.

Instead we have to divert the attention of the proles by blaming Carbon Dioxide emissions, political agendas of leaders, and the mistakes of mortgage brokers.

The cure? Economic stimulus package? No. Classical conditioning? Oh yeah. Thanks Pavlov.

Meanwhile:

Gaza Strip violence

The Last Day of 2008

2008 has been quite a remarkable year. All sorts of crazy shit went down.
Olympians turned out to be super human freaks of nature.

also a big year for other super human hero’s. this year has been flooded with so many super hero/ comic book movies that it makes me want to projectile vomit all over my t.v. But who could argue against all the hype with the fact that some actors sacrifice their own life to get into a role.

Good show Heath, but was it really necessary?

We also progressed as a country as a whole. We will have a black president next year! whoopdee frickin doo. The government will still be corrupt as hell, but now we have someone new to blame all of our problems on. And being a black man, im sure that will only encourage most of the racist people in our nation to put more fuel on the fire.

Don’t get me wrong tho, i think 2009 will be a bright and promising year. I mean with the stock market being as fickle as women, were all going to be back to living in Hoovervilles. Someone needs to call Dave Chappelle. BLOCK PARTY!

Happy New Year ya shmucks.
- The Chum Bucket

Wall St Bust

The man of the hour.

Can you believe this shmuck pulled off one of the biggest frauds in wall street history?

Bernard L. Madoff, CEO of one of the largest Investment Security Companies has swindled investors out of 50 billion dollars. Somehow this douche bag paid off early investors to keep his company growing, but the money didn’t really exist.
Here’s what Mr. Madoff told his employees once he realized he was screwed, “it’s all just one big lie.” According to the companies website, they rank in the top 1% of investment firms, and have $700 million dollars in capital.
Just another fine addition to the heaping pile of shit that America has been dumping. Good luck to you Obama.